A Song for Sarah
by Donna
Summary: News of an accident gets Harm thinking about the meaning behind the songs of the season.
1. Default Chapter Title

Consider this my Christmas gift to JAG fans...  
  
A Song for Sarah  
By Donna  
Classification: Vignette  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: News of an accident starts Harm thinking about the   
meaning behind the songs of the season...  
  
  
  
Mac looked up as Harm entered her office. Noticing the   
concerned look on his face, she quickly put down the paper   
she had been reading.  
  
"What's wrong, Harm?"  
  
He shook his head. "Nothing...not really..."  
  
He wasn't very convincing.  
  
"Harm..." Her tone left no room for argument.  
  
He sat down in the chair across from her and ran his   
fingers through his hair.  
  
"I just got off the phone with my grandmother."  
  
Mac leaned forward. "Is she all right?" she asked, her   
voice filled with concern.   
  
"She's fine," Harm hastened to reassure her. "She just had   
a bit of an accident the other night."  
  
"Was she hurt?"  
  
"No, just a bit shaken up. Her car is going to need some   
major repairs, though."  
  
"What happened?" Mac asked him.  
  
"Well, she came home from grocery shopping the other day   
and pulled up and parked behind the house so she could   
carry her bags directly into the kitchen."  
  
Mac nodded, picturing Sarah Rabb doing exactly that.  
  
"A deer had apparently been nibbling on some of the plants   
she has on the back porch and was startled by the car   
engine. While she was gathering her purse to get out of   
the car, it came bounding off of the porch, landed on the   
hood, and went right over the top, off the trunk, and into   
the woods."   
  
"Wow," Mac commented, sitting back in her chair. "That   
does sound a bit unnerving. I'll bet she's found something   
about it to laugh about, though," she added, noticing the   
twinkle creeping into Harm's eye and imagining one just   
like it in the eye of his grandmother.   
  
"Oh, yeah," he assured her. "She wanted me to know because   
she thought it would make me better appreciate that old,   
classic Christmas song."  
  
He watched Mac's face, fighting a smile and waiting while   
her brain flipped through the list of Christmas carols. He   
knew the instant she came up with the right one as she   
suddenly burst into laughter. Together, they took a deep   
breath and began to sing...  
  
Outside Mac's office, Lt. Lauren Singer wondered what the   
duo found so amusing about the song they were singing.   
Personally, she had never really seen the humor in "Grandma   
got run over by a reindeer."  
  
  
  
The end.  
  
  
Authors note: So... call it a gag gift. I plead temporary   
insanity. Blame it on the GKR (Grandma killin' reindeer).   
If you've been shopping recently, you've probably seen   
them. They're these cute little plush deer that burst into   
'that song' when you push a button. Lucky me, I work   
retail, meaning that we have a large number of these GKRs   
in our store and every person that passes one feels the   
need to push the button. This weekend, I was subjected to   
the tune approximately 975,368 times (that's just a guess,   
of course). Hope you found it humorous. For those   
offended by the song and those whose grandmothers have met   
their fate at the hands (hoofs?) of those dastardly   
creatures, my aplogies. For those who found it amusing,   
the sequel will follow shortly. Either way, I'd love to   
know what you thought.  
  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

This is a companion piece to my previous short story, "A   
Song for Sarah" and will make little sense unless you have   
read that one. Again, this one is the fault of the GKRs   
and their omnipresence at this time of year.  
  
Grandma's Revenge  
By Donna  
Classification: Christmas Vignette  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: More silliness  
Disclaimer: You know full well they aren't mine...  
  
  
Mac walked into Harm's office to deliver a case file only   
to find him wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. In   
spite of a difficult day, she found herself smiling in   
response.  
  
"You want to let me in on the joke, partner?" she asked.  
  
"Grandma Sarah," he answered, shaking his head. "I'll have   
to print up the picture for you to properly appreciate   
this." He maneuvered the mouse to the appropriate icon to   
start the printer and gestured for Mac to sit.  
  
"Did she get the reindeer damage on her car fixed yet?" she   
asked with a smile, remembering his tale of the older   
woman's encounter with a startled deer.  
  
"Yeah, she did...sort of..." he responded cryptically.   
  
"Sort of?"  
  
He indicated the computer screen. "She e-mailed me this   
copy of the front page of the Belleville Courier. That's   
the local paper there," he explained.  
  
"I figured that much," his partner responded sarcastically.  
  
"There's a story about her on the front page. She took the   
car down to the body shop to get the hoofprints fixed," he   
started.  
  
"Her insurance didn't give her any trouble paying for it,   
did they?" Mac interrupted to ask.   
  
"No, Mac," Harm assured her. "Believe it or not, out in   
the country that kind of thing happens more often than you   
realize. They did get a good chuckle when she listed the   
cause of the damage as 'Grandma got run over by a   
reindeer,' though."  
  
"I'm sure."  
  
"Anyway, the body shop had completed the repairs and she   
was picking the car up. The guy's grounds are really   
crowded with other vehicles and parts and stuff, so one of   
the assistants was directing her while she backed out."  
  
He glanced over to check the progress of the printer before   
continuing the tale.   
  
"Either he wasn't paying attention, or she wasn't, and she   
ended up accidentally backing over the guy's Christmas lawn   
decorations."  
  
He paused again and watched Mac's face as her mind raced to   
discover what kind of yard décor could cause such hilarity.   
She finally grinned.  
  
"Let me guess," she said. "His lawn decorations wouldn't   
happen to include a sleigh and it's accompanying 'eight   
tiny reindeer,' would it?"  
  
"As a matter of fact," he answered, pulling the now   
finished picture from the printer and handing it to her,   
"they would."  
  
Mac looked at the picture. It showed Sarah Rabb standing   
next to her car, grinning from ear to ear. From under the   
back end of the automobile, you could see the smiling   
plastic face of Rudolf, the Red-nosed Reindeer.   
  
The photo was captioned, "Grandma's Revenge."  
  
Mac bit her lip, trying very hard not to laugh. "Harm,   
that's horrible. She could have been hurt."  
  
'I will not laugh,' she told herself.  
  
And maybe she wouldn't have, had Harm not started singing   
softly under his breath.  
  
"A reindeer got run over by my Grandma...goin' home to her   
house Christmas Eve..."  
  
"You can say there's no such thing as Grandma," Mac added,   
"but as for me and Rudolf, we believe."  
  
  
In the bullpen, Lt. Singer shook her head. Those two would   
get so much more accomplished if they didn't spend so much   
time laughing their fool heads off.  
  
  
The End.  
  
  
Okay...I think I've got this out of my system now...I know   
you hope so...  



	3. Rudolph vs. Rabb

Rudolph vs. Rabb

By Donna

"All rise. This court is now in session, the Honorable O. M. Winter presiding."

Long habit brought Harmon Rabb, Jr. to his feet as his mind raced to recall just which case he was here to argue today. Eyes forward, it was a credit to years of training and discipline that Harm managed to keep his jaw from dropping as he took in the tiny bailiff in his white uniform. He squinted slightly to make out the man's nametag.

J. Frost.

The old man who settled onto the judges bench was another surprise. He was also dressed all in white ('Since when do judges wear white?' Harm wondered) and was as massive as his bailiff was small. Harm assumed the man had just entered the building, judging by the ice and snow that still covered his long white hair and beard. 

Opening the file folder on the desk in front of him, the judge finally looked up, spearing Harm with an icy blue glare. 

"You may be seated. This is the time set aside for the case of 'Rudolph vs. Rabb'," the man announced. "Are both parties ready to proceed?"

'Rudolph vs. Rabb?' Harm wondered. He glanced quickly to his left where his client should be. The only people at the table with him were Bud Roberts and Grandma Sarah. His grandmother looked up at him and smiled sweetly. Surely his grandmother wasn't on trial. And who the heck was this Rudolph person?

"Ready for the plaintiff," a familiar voice called from his right. 

Of course, Mac would be representing the person who was dragging his poor, innocent grandmother into court. He turned to throw her a menacing look.

And froze.

What was she doing wearing an outfit like that in court? And why was there a reindeer in a wheelchair at the table next to her?

He suddenly realized that everyone was looking at him.

"Mr. Rabb?" the judge's icy voice asked.

Harm glanced again at his grandmother, who reached out and patted his arm.

"The nice judge wants to know if we're ready, Harm. Aren't you supposed to say that we are?"

Ready? He had no idea what was going on. Before he could comment, though, Sarah Rabb turned and faced the judge. 

"I'm sure everything is ready, Your Honor. My grandson is a very responsible young man," she told him, pride evident in her voice. 

"Then let's get started," the judge responded, a slight smile gracing his leathery face. "Ms. MacKenzie?"

Mac rose from her seat and Harm leaned back in his to take stock of the situation. A tiny green, felt cap perched atop her dark hair. A tunic of matching emerald green brought out the glow in her skin. A red sash was tied around her narrow waist, below which the tunic continued to mid thigh. There, red tights took over, covering her shapely legs down to feet encased in little green slippers…with bells on the toes.

The bells jingles softly as she pace in front of the jury box. 

"Grandmas and reindeer of the jury…"

Startled, Harm turned his attention to the jury in question. 

Sure enough, the box was filled by six tiny reindeer, huge brown eyes intently watching Mac, and six tiny women, all wearing pastel cardigan sweaters, eyeglasses on chains hanging around their necks, and hands flashing as they quietly knitted. They all had shiny blue eyes, also riveted on Mac. 

"I intend to prove that on the 24th of December, this woman, Mrs. Sarah Rabb, did maliciously assault, with a motor vehicle, my client, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer."

Huh? Harm remembered the wheelchair bound reindeer at the desk and turned for a better look. Yes, it really was a reindeer and it really was in a wheelchair. A large cast encased one leg and a sling held an arm immobile against its chest. Its antlers were stubby and scratched, apparently recently broken off. A turban of white gauze covered the top of its head and soft, brown eyes peeked out just beneath that.

Mac's voice interrupted his thoughts. 

"Mrs. Rabb was upset at the recent rash of grandmas being run over by reindeer. In fact, I believe she had recently been a victim of such an assault herself. Her feelings are understandable. Good, honest reindeer are upset by this, too. The few, disturbed reindeer who habitually run over grandmas reflect badly on the community as a whole and many of them are trying to find ways to combat this epidemic of grandma assaulting. In fact, my client started an organization, Reindeer Against Grandma Assaults (RAGA) to address this problem and to discourage young reindeer from becoming grandma assaulters. Mrs. Rabb, though, didn't stop to think about my client as an individual. She didn't see him as an honest employee, a community leader, or a father with a family to provide for," Mac continued, a gesture indicating the sweet young doe in the seat behind him and the two small fawns sitting next to her. 

"She only saw a reindeer, a member of a hated minority, and she took action to stop him."

Mac concluded and returned to her seat. After a moment, Harm rose. He looked down at his grandma. Without missing a stitch in her own knitting, she smiled up at him. He knew that no matter what had happened in the past, his grandmother didn't have a malicious bone in her body and would never, ever intentionally hurt anyone.

"Reindeer. Grandmas. Your honor." He turned slowly to face the poor, crippled deer. "Rudolph."

His steps in front of the jury box were slow and measured, intended to show his sorrow over the situation. "What we have here is an accident, plain and simple. Like the plaintiff, the defendant in this suit is an upstanding member of her community. She has lived in harmony with all, human and reindeer, for many years. She has always shown kindness to the reindeer community, both the locals and those like Rudolph and his companions who only visit once a year. It was never enough for the Rabb household to leave cookies and milk for Santa," he continued, the words of his defense coming as needed. "I remember as a boy dragging hay on to the porch for his reindeer and helping grandma fill up nine bowls with water because surely the reindeer would be as hungry and thirsty as Mr. Claus himself." 

In the seats behind Rudolph, Harm could see some of the other reindeer nodding. They obviously remembered the kindness shown them at the Rabb farm. 

"Yes, Mrs. Rabb was the victim of a reindeer assault a few days previous to this incident. It startled her, shook her up a bit, but not enough to seek revenge. Mrs. Rabb lost a husband to the Germans in a war, but when a German family relocated to Bellesville a few years later, she was the first to welcome them. Her son was shot down over Vietnam during another war. Does she hate the Vietnamese people as a whole? No. Instead, she regularly makes donations to a group that does relief work over there. Yes, there are rogue groups of vigilante grandmas out there, seeking revenge for the attacks they have suffered at the hooves of reindeer. But like the few bad reindeer who commit these assaults, these are simply misguided grandmas who are frightened and lashing out. Mrs. Sarah Rabb, my grandma, is trying to help these poor women find better outlets for their time and energy. GSG, the Grandma Support Group, teaches these women how to knit, crochet, and tat. A part of their organization works closely with the RAGA to help these grandmas and those young reindeer to learn to see each other as individuals, worthy of respect and care."

"Mrs. Rabb, the founder of GSG, would never deliberately injure anyone, man or reindeer. The anguish she has suffered as a result of this tragic accident is more punishment than anything this court could inflict on her. Rudolph has indeed suffered, that much is obvious. But, tragic and sad as the situation is, to call it anything but the accident it was would only compound the tragedy."

Harm resumed his seat, receiving a few smiles and nods from the jury.

"Ms. MacKenzie, you may call your first witness."

The first witness, of course, was the victim. Rudolph was rolled to the front of the courtroom and sworn in.

"Rudolph," Mac said. "Can you tell us what happened on the 24th of December?"

Rudolph nodded slightly and cleared his throat. 

"As you said, it was Christmas eve. I was out doing some last minute scouting. We keep track of all the children by computer now, but we still like to take a last minute fly over to be sure that we have a correct location for everyone. If, for example, some child makes a last minute trip to grand…to see his grandparents, we wouldn't want to deliver his gifts to his house and leave him with nothing to wake up to on Christmas morning."

Mac smiled at him. "That's a very considerate thing to do. I'm sure the children appreciate your attention to detail."

Rudolph blushed. "It's just part of the job, ma'am. Before Santa allows any reindeer to fly with him, he does very careful interviews to make sure that that reindeer has the utmost of commitment to providing joy and happiness to the children."

"You do him proud," Mac reassured the reindeer.

"I hope I did," the reindeer replied softly, a tear leaking from his big brown eye. "But now I can't do much of anything."

"And why is that?" Mac asked him, turning a glare towards Grandma Rabb.

"With my injuries, the doctor won't clear me to fly," Rudolph answered. "This year, I won't be able to guide Santa's sleigh as he delivers toys to all the good little girls and boys. I mean, I know they don't really need me, but this is my job, and I feel like I'm failing everyone if I don't do it."

Next to Harm, Sarah Rabb sniffled softly. "Oh, that poor dear…deer," she whispered to her grandson. 

"It was an accident, Grandma," Harm reminded her with a gentle hug.

"Yes, but still…"

At the front of the courtroom, Rudolph broke down in tears. 

"Without my job, I'm nothing," he wailed.

Mac patted his shoulder and waited, but the tears kept coming.

Finally, she looked up at the judge.   


"Your honor, I'd like to request a short recess while my client pulls himself together."

The judge nodded as he wiped a tear from his eye. "This court is in recess for ten minutes," he declared, banging his gavel.

"Your honor," Sarah Rabb called, reaching into the bag that sat by her chair. "Since it's recess, I wonder if you might like one of these delicious cookies that I baked last night."

"Cookies? What kind of cookies?" Old Man Winter asked.

"Oh, I've got chocolate chip, oatmeal, oatmeal raisin, peanut butter, gingersnaps, sugar cookies…"

"Sounds like you did a lot of baking last night," the judge told her.

"Oh, yes," Sarah replied. "I've been so upset since this happened that I have hardly been able to sleep, worrying about poor Rudolph," she told him. 

"Try one of the peanut butter ones," Santa Clause called from the gallery. "Mrs. Rabb's peanut butter cookies are the best I've ever tasted…and I've eaten a lot of cookies in my time," the jolly man added, patting his rounded belly.

"Objection!" Mac called out. "The defendant is trying to bribe the judge."

"Bribe?" Grandma Rabb said, her voice shocked. "Oh, my, no, dear. I just wanted to try to make the proceedings today a little more pleasant. I also brought some brownies with walnuts for you, dear. It seems like Harm mentioned that those are a favorite of yours."

Mac paused. "Brownies? With walnuts?"

"Big chunks of walnuts, not the little bitty chopped pieces," Grandma Rabb assured her. "And there's plenty for everyone," she added, pulling plate after plate of fresh, warm cookies out of her knitting bag. As the grandmas filed out of the jury box, sampling and comparing recipes, Sarah Rabb reached under her chair and pulled out another bag. "And I didn't want to forget out reindeer friends, so I brought along some hay also."

Harm watched in shock as she pulled a bale of hay out of a bag much too small to hold it. 

"I would have brought some milk to go with the cookies, but it's just so hard to transport," she added with a small sigh.

"That's no problem," the judge assured her. He turned to the bailiff. Mr. Frost, if you would be so kind as to fetch some milk to wash down Grandma Rabb's delicious cookies?"

"And some fresh water for the reindeer?" Mrs. Rabb added.

"Certainly," the little man answered, dashing from the room and returning moments later with glasses and pitchers of icy water and ice cold milk.

Grandma Rabb made her way to the front of the courtroom and pulled up a chair to sit next to Rudolph's wheelchair. She brought a plate of hay and a bowl of cool water which she helped him consume. After a few minutes of conversation, she called Harm and Mac both to the front of the room. 

"We've come to an understanding. Rudolph here realizes that I never meant to hurt him," Sarah told them. Rudolph nodded in agreement. 

"But Grandma Rabb realizes that, whatever her intention, she did hurt me," Rudolph added, Sarah nodding her agreement.

"So Rudolph and his family will be staying with me at the farm until he is recovered. We'll set up a computer and electronic tracking equipment so that he can keep track of Santa and the rest of the team as they make their rounds. We'll basically be acting as air traffic controllers for the big guy and keep his list of who gets what. That way, he won't have to depend on his laptop."

"Yeah," Rudolph told them. "One year, it accidentally got dropped in the ocean and we ended up giving some girl named Ellen a truck instead of the doll she was supposed to get."

"Are you sure about this, Grandma?" Harm asked her.

"Oh, yes," she assured him. "It's not like I haven't taken care of a grounded flyer before."

"Well," Harm said. "Sounds like that takes care of everything."

"Not quite," Grandma Rabb said. She looked pointedly at Harm and Mac standing side by side, then looked up over their heads. Harm followed her gaze.

Now how did a piece of mistletoe get into a courtroom? He looked at Mac and she shrugged.

"You have two choices," Grandma informed them. "You can do what you're supposed to do, or you can argue with me about it and then do what you're supposed to do."

He looked at Mac again, and again, she shrugged. They both leaned forward and…

Pounding. Loud pounding.

Harm sat up in bed and looked at the clock. 

10pm

He saw his overnight bag sitting on the floor and everything came back to him. He and Mac had returned earlier that evening from an overseas case. She was going to drop him at his place, then continue back to her own apartment. She was as exhausted as he was, though, and it hadn't taken very much urging for him to convince her to grab a few hours on his sofa. 

The pounding on the front door continued and he heard Mac groan as he pulled on some sweat pants and went to open it. 

His neighbor, Shanna was standing there, a large box in her arms. 

"Hey, Harm. My husband said that he thought he saw you come back. I hope it's not too late, but the delivery people left this package from your grandmother with us. It smells so good that I've been having to fight to keep from tearing into it." 

She smiled as she handed him the box. 

"Thanks, Shanna. I appreciate you taking care of it for me. Grandma usually sends me some of her Christmas baking to share with friends and family. I'll bring you some after I sort through it."

"Thanks. Talk to you later." With a smile and a wave, she disappeared back towards her apartment.

As Harm closed the door, he looked at Mac. Then he looked again. 

For sleeping, she had changed into a oversized green t-shirt and red leggings. She pulled on a pair of green slippers and walked into the kitchen.

"Whatcha' got there, partner?" she asked.

"Christmas goodies from Grandma," he told her, setting the box on the table and carefully tearing it open.

Mac looked over his shoulder at the array of bags that filled the box. As he opened the letter enclosed, she started pulling the bags out and reading the labels.

"Chocolate chip…peanut butter…oatmeal…oatmeal raisin…gingersnaps…sugar cookies…brownies with walnuts…mmm…I'd better get some of those, Harm." She dug deeper. "Hey, there's another bag of those and it has my name on it."

Harm looked up from the letter. "Yeah. Grandma says that she sent a bag for you, too, because I told her they were your favorite."

"And the walnuts are big chunks, not the little bitty pieces." She pulled one out and bit down happily.

"So, what else does Grandma Rabb have to say?" Mac asked him as she brought two glasses and the milk carton to the table.

He laughed. "Well, seems like the reindeer incident kind of caught the town's interest. They held a mock trial and convicted her of reindeer assault. She was sentenced to playing Mrs. Clause at the town's Christmas open house. That's something she does every year anyway," he added.

"Convicted?" Mac said indignantly. "I don't see how they could convict her. It was clearly an accident."

"Yeah, but after that reindeer hit her a few days earlier, they felt that they had enough evidence to indicate that it might have been retaliation rather than an accident," Harm told her.

"Hey," Mac told him, a mischievous grin on her face. "Maybe we should work on an appeal for her…"

Harm could have sworn he heard the sound of jingle bells outside his window.

The end…

Unless I decide to do more…


End file.
